Oh Pure and Radiant Heart by Lydia Millet

Author:Lydia Millet [Millet, Lydia]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781593763138
Publisher: Soft Skull Press

III

THE DEAD MAINTAIN THEIR GOOD LOOKS

1

We were not made to fly, thought Ann like many fearful passengers before and after her, but here we are aloft.

It was precarious. When she flew she was on the edge of air, between air and nothing.

They were moving steadily at thirty-seven thousand feet above a thin layer of cloud that gaped open over the Sierra Nevada and then dispersed into clarity. Colors showed beneath.

She stared down at the colors with her forehead against the cool windowpane, looking out over the clean white wing. She saw the Grand Canyon yawning purple and gray and brown and then the dust-red nation of the Navajo. The lines of its orange cliffs spread like floods of sand beneath them and towering stone monuments cast dark, blunt shadows. The government had given the Navajo a very large piece of barren land, thinking this a clever swindle; and the dry soil would never make them rich, that much was true. But the land was so beautiful the joke was on the government.

When the plane began its descent into her own high desert, gentle brown mountains in the distance with their dark green skirts of pine, Ann felt homesick. Only from here could she know her own country best, far above with no way to touch it.

Larry had booked the scientists a lavish suite at La Posada, the establishment Oppenheimer preferred.

—Let me take the burden off you, OK? Money is no object, like the man said. I couldn’t spend it all if I had six lifetimes. I’m serious. I mean you have already been so great to these guys.

They were in a flight lounge in Albuquerque, she and Ben walking fast with Larry beside them as the others trailed behind. She was moving out of relevance, she thought, away from the center. There was nothing to object to, because of course they would stay in a hotel. It was better for them. No one would turn down that offer.

—So you just feel free to take a break from playing hostess, OK?

She nodded and felt them slipping out of her hands, leaving in her a defeated, flat calm.

Larry leaned closer as they walked and whispered, in an understanding tone, —I know it’s been hard on you. Robert told me you guys have been a little strapped for cash recently. No worries, he told me in confidence.

Oppenheimer discussed her finances with Larry, Larry with his Tall Grays at Roswell, his autopsies and abductions and extraterrestrial squid swimming ceaselessly in the orbit of Jupiter.

—I mean I’d be happy to reimburse you for everything you’ve spent on them. I’m serious.

—Larry’s our sugar daddy, said Ben to Ann.

—Oh, no, said Ann. —Thank you, but—

—Are you kidding? It was our entire savings. We say yes, said Ben. —Reimburse us. Feel free! It’s been at least ten thousand.

—No problem, man, said Larry. —I’ll get the accountant to cut you a check. You need something, you just come to Larry.

—So you’re staying at the La Posada too? asked Ann quickly to cover her embarrassment.

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